Through out the years I’ve been a fan of her songs – some not even knowing that it was her singing. Those were mainly when I was younger and didn’t know who was singing the song unless it was Britney Spears (Don’t worry, I don’t like her anymore. Haven’t in a long time) or the Backstreet Boys or *N-sync.

So after I was reminded of the good songs she sings, I went and listened to her new album on iTunes. Found a few good songs that I absolutely love.

First off was Bye Bye, which is the song she sang on Wednesday night. This song speaks so much to me. A lot of it says the same things that I have felt over the few years since I lost my grandfather. If you know me he was very important to me and was more of a dad to me then I’d ever known then.

There are a few lyrics that just get me every time: “And you never got a chance to see how good I’ve done, And you never got to see me back at number one, I wish that you were here to celebrate together, I wish that we could spend the holidays together.”

The one thing I always wished I could have told him is that he inspired me to become a writer and entertain people just like he did through out his life. He loved to tell stories and jokes to you, no matter if you had heard them a hundred times before.

And of course the spending holidays together was always so much fun. I love the holidays so much. It’s so much fun to spend time with family and it’s never really been the same since he left us. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t had some great times since then. We just miss him.

However I know he is watching from above and is proud of me. And I hope to keep on making him proud.

And something I know he’d be proud of is that recently I’ve decided to transfer to a small Christian college close by and begin studying the field of youth ministry. God has been pulling me in that direction and I finally took notice and am doing something about it.

I think the youth ministry will go very nicely with my novel writing. At least I hope it will. I know my knowledge of the bible will grow and I’ll be able to translate that into my work so that is a major plus and I’m very excited about that.

Not growing up in a Christian/Church family I never really learned a lot about the bible – except for the many times I went to church with both grandparents or the few years of attending a Christian school – and that has always intimidated me when it comes to writing Christian themes.

Of course now I’m a little intimidated about going to a Christian college, but I’m really excited that God has pushed me to take this step and further my study of His will and word.

So all in all I think my grandfather would be proud of what I’ve accomplished so far in my life. Even though he never got a chance to see me back at number one, I still plan on continuing to make him proud.

Bye Bye – Mariah Carey

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We won’t ever say bye (no no no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends, and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we won’t ever say bye

As a child, there were them times
I didn’t get it, but you kept me alive
I didn’t know why you didn’t show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings
But I’m glad we talked through
All them grown full things separation brings
You never let me know it, you never let it show
Because you loved me, and obviously
There’s so much more left to say
If you were with me today, face to face

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And its true that you’ve reached a better place
Still, I’d give the world to see your face
And be back here next to you
But it’s like you’ve gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

And you never got a chance to see how good I’ve done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me that I held so tight
I thougt you were so strong you’d make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And its true that you’ve reached a better place
Still, I’d give the world to see your face
And be back here next to you
But it’s like you’ve gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
Cause we won’t ever say bye (no no no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends, and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we won’t ever say bye bye

Never knew I could hurt like this
I never knew it
Every day of my life
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish
That as time goes by
And it’s true that you’ve reached a better place
Still I’d give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
And the hardest thing to do is say
Bye bye

It’s hard to say bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
So come on somebody sing it with me, wave your hands up high
Cause this is for my people who just lost somebody
This is for everybody
Who kept their head to the sky
Cause we won’t ever say bye bye

I just finished watching the season finale of Saving Grace. I must say there is just something about this show that is just so honest and pure, but gridy and edgy at the same time.

This is the kind of stuff I would like to write one day when I’m an established author. It’s raw, true-life kind of stuff. The show is non-apologetic about being very realistic. It doesn’t try to sugarcoat some of the realities that life throws at you.

But the great thing about this show is the writers have taken a gridy drama and put faith, God and angels in the center of it. It’s so refreshing to see something so good – in many different ways – on tv today.

The last episode really hit a cord with me. The performances were just out of this world. I have to give it up to the writers and actors of this amazing show. They did an excellent job with the sexual abuse story line.

For me those parts of the show were really hard to watch. Especially the scene with just Grace and Rhetta – It was just pure emotion. In that scene Holly Hunter reminded all of us that she is a true actor that has claimed the academy award.

To be so honest with your writing like that seems so hard to me right now. I wish I had that kind of courage to tackle something like that.

There are of course a few things I don’t like about the show; one of them being the fact that it feels the need to have a few graphic scenes of the sexual nature.  That I could really do with out. But other then that the show is outstanding.

The one thing I hate about novels is that it’s so hard to really show the true raw emotion a character is feeling and going through. You really have to work the words of a novel to really jerk the emotion strings of the reader. But I think I also love that about novels. It gives you a challenge. I know, the irony.

If you decide to watch this outstanding show, I must warn you that there are a few graphic scenes of the sexual nature and they do exercise the right of free speech to express themselves. Meaning questionable language. I thought I needed to point that out, being this is a Christian oriented blog.

So Desperate Housewives was all-new tonight and as a fan I was reminded of how much I love this show.

First they’re housewives, second they’re desperate and third they’re hilarious. Now for the slow, let me repeat that. They’re housewives, they’re desperate and they are so hilarious!!

Tonight’s episode was a little shocking to me. And not for the reasons you might think. The episode was entitled, “Sunday.” And as you can guess it revolved around church, God and the number one Jesus.

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of Christian themed elements in prime time network television. You know what I mean if you saw last weeks American Idol results show that opened with the final eight singing “Shout To The Lord.” Yes, a worship song – one that if you’ve been to worship service you’ve probably heard this song a few times. This shocked me. I couldn’t believe it. They even kept in the Jesus parts. I saw again, I was shocked. Then I remembered the week before when they had Dolly Parton on a couple contestants sang songs with Jesus mentioned several times.

Well anyway, back to Desperate Housewives. When the episode started and I learned it was going to center around church and God, I figured it was going to be another mocking, put down episode you see so often on television. As I said before I was shocked to find that they did an excellent job.

Lunette, one of the housewives gets an urge to go to church because of many troubling events that have just happened. They go to another housewife’s church and once the minister was done giving his sermon, Lynette raised her hand. Now in most churches you don’t raise your hand to ask a question. I don’t know maybe it’s different at your church.

Anyway, the minister calls on her and she stands up and says he lost her at some point and she didn’t understand something. He addresses it as well that’s just how it is. Well Lynette doesn’t accept that.

Her statement went something like this, “I just don’t understand how God’s love can be seen in the sunlight. I mean every other month some dumbass goes into a school and shoots it up. Where is God’s love there?”

Haven’t you ever just wanted to ask that to someone? I thought the whole ordeal was just hilarious. And for me, a believer, I already knew the answer to these statements, but I loved how they went about it so a non-believer could understand and maybe be curious to ask more questions.

And I’m sorry, but you have to admit, standing up in a church you’re not supposed to stand up in and address the preacher and say the word “dumbest” is just hilarious. Of course if you’re familiar with DH this is pretty normal stuff for the wives to do.

All in all, I was reminded of how much I love DH and that there is still hope for Hollywood and network television. Who knew?

First off I love the story between the two brothers. It’s so interesting to see the emotion from these two and the tension that they have, mainly put there by their evil, egotistical, jackass of a dad, Dan Scott. I know you can tell I like this guy.

I love watching the relationships grow between all of these people that are at times so completely different, but at the same time are on the same emotional rollercoaster ride as the other.

I must say the relationship between Haley and Nathan is so magical. They have this chemistry that you just don’t see much of on tv. They are just the perfect couple. They look so good together and they are both good for the other. Haley makes Nathan a better person and Nathan gives Haley the courage to follow her dreams. I just love them as a couple. I also hated the fact that they split for awhile. I was actually screaming at the tv for Nathan to go after her. But I’m just glad they’re back together.
Payton is my kind of girl. She’s into music and the arts and just does her own thing. She’s head strong, but can also let herself be swept off her feet. She also defies the stereotype of cheerleader. I mean you just wouldn’t picture her as a cheerleader, but she does it because her mom was one and I give her props for that.

I would also have to say Brooke is also my kind of girl. She is funny and out going, but at the same time she can be sweet and loveable. She knows what she wants and goes out and makes it happen. I guess I relate to Lucas having a thing for both Brooke and Payton.

Of course Haley is also my kind of girl. I don’t know where to begin on that one so I’m just going to skip that.

I think I love this show because it’s an ongoing love story. One emotional love story. There are a lot of sad moments but there are a lot of moments that just warm your heart. I also love the fact the show doesn’t tip toe around the big issues teens face today and that’s exactly what I want in my writing. Something that makes you cry, laugh and even mad. After awhile you get so wrapped up into the lives of these people.

Well I’m going to stop writing and listening to Halo by Haley James Scott (aka Bethany Joy Galeotti) and watch some more One Tree Hill. I know it’s addictive.

Talk to you later.